First off, I don’t condone or wish to glorify suicide. However, soldiers are known for their morbid humor.
I was stuck in a four hour-long briefing by a redacted with a bunch of other redacted the other day. This briefing started as a redacted and quickly turned into a rambling mess.
Somewhere around the 2.5 hour mark, my mind wandered to the topic of suck-starting my rifle. 15 rambling “fuck”-laden speach minutes later I would invent a device of sheer “youth-in-asia” simplicity that would impress even the late Dr. Kevorkian.

NSN is forthcoming.
Inspired by the Blank Firing Adapter (BFA), matching the simplicity of the suppressor, and possessing the ergonomic comfort of the rubberized mouthguard, the MFA is a must have for all briefings exceeding 1 hour. Yes, this is my “modest proposal“.
At least now I can claim prior art if someone tries to patent this thing.

We are good at: tasteless humor and backwards planning.